Ever have a stretch of a few days that puts everything in perspective? That was this weekend for me. As I have shared countless times, I have had a passion and drive to see a ministry for kids with special needs in Toledo. The Good Lord has given me a vision and asked me to be one of his vessels for it. Well, after 4.5 years, literally, of prayer and conversation/begging, and planning; we launched Toledo Capernaum on Saturday night!!! The weeks leading up to it were some of the most stressful I have ever faced. I was so worried about failing, about not doing a good job. A lot of people trusted the vision I was given and supported me. I am not exactly used to having random people approach me and ask about ministry and pledge their prayer. So I did not want to let anyone down. On top of that I was having meetings and phone conferences and emails all trying to get this thing off the ground.
I think that I did lose focus of the point through it all. I was a nervous stress ball. I like to fly under the radar and I found myself on the radar. I do question some of my motives these past few weeks but still the Lord did his thing and used me as a vessel none the less. And then came Saturday.
Saturday, I was a nervous wreck. I barely slept the night before and could hardly eat all day. I was so excited for this club, excited and terrified. I believe God has been preparing me for this my whole life. I have yet to really put together a "team" to help me plan clubs. I was blessed with support from friends and met some new friends that showed up to help out. So the support was there. But the planning was on me and difficult. I had no idea what to expect, who would come, what their needs would be.
Well, I arrived at club, started setting up and everyone was coming to me with questions which I am not used to. I was sweating and shaking and then I simply paused for a moment and confessed to the Lord that I was doing this on my own for the past few hours especially. I asked him to come down, take over. Almost immediately I was at peace. And then our one and only kid arrived. And I was okay with that. She came with her two cousins and their two friends. They are YL leaders in Michigan and wanted to see what we were up to. We had a blast! God spoke through me for the club talk, he greatly humbled me. The rest of the club was great. I hand Kristin, my new friend, 5 shaving cream pies and told her to start pieing people and that she did. She sang some karaoke, had a dance party, and played musical chairs. When it was time to leave I think we were all sad.
There we were, about 12 of us all together just having a blast. I can tell you that in those moments there was no disability in that room, Kristin was a daughter of God hanging out with her friends. That is how God intended her to be. And I can honestly say that the people in that room learned more about Christ and love from her than we could ever teach her. Just as when the four friends lowered their paralyzed friend through a hole in the ceiling just so he could be close to Christ, they got more than they were expecting and I can only assume they were changed for ever. Well, I am a changed man from Saturday.
I know this was a long post, but friends, God wants to use us, but he does not need us. He will take our nerves away, calm our minds and hearts. He will show us love in every way imaginable. Just believe. Myself, well I cannot wait until our next club. And I cannot wait to meet more friends.
I leave you with this,
"Be comfortable being uncomfortable." -Nick Palermo-
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