Silly Fears

Part of being an Opher is having a ton of irrational and some rational fears and letting them dictate your life.  I have always known this about myself and it is what it is, I just try not to let it defeat me.  I was reflecting on them recently and it's funny to see what keeps me from living life sometimes.  Fear is both good and bad.  Fear keeps you safe from harm but also keeps you from taking risks.  So I have a love-hate relationship with it.
The main fears that keep me tied up are:
*Fear of letting people down.
*Fear of not succeeding in life.
*Fear of someone close to me dying.
*Fear of hurting someone I care about which keeps me from doing what I need to do sometimes.
*Fear of not being a good enough Man in Christ.
*Fear of having people look up to me.
*Fear of eventually being a husband and father. (Hopefully)
*Fear of risk taking with emotions, trust, and relationships.
*Fear of girls.
And yes, I realize that some of these are probably common among people and maybe some of them are extremely irrational.  I am able to to pretty much explain why each of those fears exists but yet cannot quite beat them.  One day I will.  And each day I fight to not let those silly things keep me from living life to the full.  Because in the end, they are just obstacles in my path to following Jesus the way I need to.
    So, for those of you that have silly fears that for some reason seem to keep you from living life to the full, just let them go.  God is the antidote to any fear we have.  We just have to believe that and go before him with those fears.
Enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend,
Opher/C-Hubs/Chris

Love one another.

I was reading over some scripture that I am trying to memorize and one of the pieces caught my attention today.

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give to you: Love one another as I have loved you, so you mush love another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

It is two verses but yet he tells us to love one another three times.  I would say that loving people is pretty important.  By simply loving people we are showing that we are disciples of Jesus.  Take this to heart, it is simple but is a focal point of Christ's teaching

Oh Weddings

  I had the privilege of witnessing two of my good friends get married yesterday.  Todd and Brittany.  I was surprised that during the ceremony I teared up. I am told that guys are not supposed to show emotions at weddings but that is a load of crap.  I was witnessing two people that are very important to me, Brittany was my YL co-leader for three years and Todd is kind of like a big brother to me.  So I think it is perfectly ok that I had some tears.

  The wedding was great and the reception was a blast!  My legs are still sore from the sweet dance moves I was pulling out.  And I know that guys are not supposed to think this way either but it kind of made me get excited for my wedding (whenever that happens, over under is 20 years.)  But I am very excited to be able to commit myself fully to loving my wife and becoming one in Christ.  To have all my good friends and family there to witness it would make it even better.  And although that day is probably pretty far away for me, I still look forward it.  The opportunity to share a love that deep with someone is something that I greatly look forward to. Sorry to be all sappy and what not but it was just some thoughts that came to mind.

Opher

My Freedom

I was having trouble sleeping tonight.  So I decided to take a glance at some of my writings (poems, but that sounds lame so I say writings.)  I love to write.  It is how I can express myself.  I cannot draw or do anything visually striking, I have no musical talent, but I can write. It is my freedom.  I have been writing for as long as I can remember.  I have hundreds of writings and a few stories (that are all unfinished).  Unfortunately last spring my computer was stolen and with it my 23 page word document of all my writings since 2007.  It was a double column document and had well over a hundred writings.  I felt as tho someone tore my heart out and squashed it.  My computer, well that can be replaced but not those writings.
  Anywho, tonight I was going back and reading the ones I have written since that disaster.  And I found that they are powerful.  I was surprised that I wrote some of them.  I did not think I was capable of writing something like those.  Of course, this is me talking about my writings.  And I show them to very few people, its personal to me and that way I think they are sweet and there is no one to rip them apart.  But writing is my freedom, my art, and my sanity.
I used to often be angry that I seemed to have to artistic ability.  I aways told myself that the girls want a guy who can play the guitar not write poems.  But art is a self expression of who we is be, so be yourself and embrace the gifts the good lord has blessed you with.  And embrace that FREEDOM!
Opher

Word Vomit

Anyone who has ever hung out with me or been around me knows that I suffer from the condition of word vomit.  Word vomit causes me to say things without thinking them through, they just pour out of my mouth with out control.  Sometimes this word vomit is not really that bad and other times it can cause some damage.  I have hurt some people unintentionally because of the words that come out of my mouth.  I don't intend to hurt people or cause people to think I am crazy but that is what happens.
  I just listened to the sermon that my pastor gave yesterday at church, i was not there so I listened online. (http://www.discoverthepoint.org/watchlisten/sylvaniacampusaudio/tabid/114/Default.aspx is the link, its good.)  And this sermon is the second in a series my church is doing on relationships and this one was all about our tongues, the words we say.  And his main points were that the words that come out of our mouths come from our heart.  And that God commands us to be careful with the words we use, to use them out of love.  Going back to the first point, the words come out of our hearts.  We cannot say that what we said is not what we meant or that we were joking because we should always speak from our hearts.  So the words we use will reflect our hearts whether we like that or not.  And so true it is.
  I always try to get out of what I said by saying "I didn't mean it" well if I did not mean it then I should not say it. Pretty simple in theory but hard to carry out.  He also made the point that the words we dont speak reflects our heart.  In that if there is something on our hearts that we know we should tell someone but we decide not to then that reflects our hearts.  We need to say the things that our on hearts and if it is not on our heart then don't say it.  Because once it leaves your mouth it cannot be taken back, if it never leaves your mouth then it will not be known.
  I know that I will be working hard on this.  The "opher" that everyone knows suffers greatly from Word Vomit but with some prayer and practice, I can overcome it.
Peace!
Oph

An Excerpt

I love to write.  It is freeing for me, that is one reason why I enjoy writing in this blog.  But besides the blog I have a lengthy word document with a lot of other writings.  The following is an excerpt from my most recent "stories" I have been working on.  I have like three started but never finish them.  This guy I am really starting to like, but we will see if I finish.  This is just a small portion of it, it is the first page or so.  I just felt like being in the sharing mood.  Enjoy, or don't.  That is the beauty of writing, I do it for myself so you not liking it dill not bother me :) 

[ To be seventeen years old and faced with such a massive choice is simply unfair.  What if I make the wrong choice?  What if this turns out to be a huge mistake and one that has lasting effects on my life?  People are waiting impatiently for my decision and the pressure is mounting, I need to choose and choose soon.  Will it be the breakfast burrito or the sausage biscuit?  I simply do not know which one I want!  Wait! I am calling an audible!

“I will have the sausage, egg, and cheese croissant please.”  It was such a relief to order my breakfast and get the pressure of the decision off of my shoulders.  I can only hope that the choice turns out to be a good one.  The importance of a tasty breakfast is often underestimated.  If I eat the wrong thing my entire day can be ruined.  It could make me grumpy or depressed.  Or worse, could send me to the bathroom for all of 2^nd period again.  Oh man, that was not a fun day.  Who knew that left over tuna casserole was not ideal for breakfast.  Live and you learn I guess.

                I took my breakfast and solemnly headed across the street to good old Baldford High School, home of the Bald Eagles.  Whoever came up with the mascot sure was creative huh?  I mean, I am pretty sure a bald eagle has never flown over this fair town of Baldford.  And if it did it was certainly lost.  You don’t go to Baldford if you have a say in the matter.  A ran down old paper mill town set on a small river in the middle of nowhere Ohio.  Well, that is only partly true, it is a ran down town, the paper mill left over ten years ago leaving a lot of people out of work.  But the great residents of Baldford some how remain hopelessly optimistic that it will return.  No chance if you ask me.  But as my mom always tells me, “No one is asking you Boom.”

                No my name is not Boom, my parents were not that crazy when naming me, it is just a nickname.  Instead, my parents settled for the name of Boomer.  Yeah, Boomer Alexander  Ralph Farmsworth.  Or as my friends call me, Barf.  Not sure how my parents did not see that one when they came up with that amazing name.  They justify my name by telling me I am named after important people in their lives.  Boomer is in honor of Boomer Esiason.  I guess he was some hot shot quarterback who played for my dad’s beloved Cincinnati Bengals at some point.  My dad’s name is Alexander so that is how I got my first middle name.  And my mother felt obligated to have some part of naming me so she insisted that I have two middle names and that the second be Ralph, her father’s name. 

                So anyways, I crossed Washington Avenue and headed for the side entrance of the school.  As usual I was running late.  Ever since I got my license and started driving to school I was rarely on time.  First off, I always wake up late.  Then I usually get hungry on the way to school and stop for breakfast.  This morning I parked my car in my usual parking spot and then walked over to McDonald’s instead of hitting up the drive-thru.  You may ask why?  Well, I do not have a parking pass for the student lot.  But I found one spot that is always empty so I park there.  Sometimes another student beats me to it so I need to get there as soon as I can.  If I do not get that spot then I have to go park at this church that lets us park in their lot.  But it is a far walk and I would rather not do that.]