Reality

   When I look back to my time in elementary, middle, and high school I cannot remember a time where I did not feel safe at school.  Of course there were fights and the occasional bomb threat.  In middle school and high school there was always a cop at the school.  But I always thought that was just for the presence and to deal with the drugs at the school.  I never imagined anything crazy like the events that happened in Connecticut or Columbine would ever happen.
    When I was in college and student teaching I was at a suburban high school.  They also had a police officer at the school. By that time I was more aware of our society and potential danger.  We practiced lock down drills and although we hoped to never have to use them, we took them seriously.  But yet I still did not believe we would actually ever need them.
    Now I am a teacher.  I teach in an urban city.  The program I teach in for the Toledo Public Schools is housed in a separate building owned by the University of Toledo.  It is in a pretty decent neighborhood.  I hear stories of stuff that happens at other TPS schools and am thankful I am not there.  Those schools can be rough.  Security is tight in them but it can be breached.  Earlier this year a student let in a couple gang members in a side entrance.  They entered a class and beat up a student.  They threatened the teacher and other students and then escaped.  Scary stuff.
     But throughout this school year I have felt safe in my building.  TPS has three class rooms in our building.  Two are in a separate wing along with a day care for kids with special and medical needs.  In the middle of the building is the Lucas county Board of DD's Early Intervention offices.  My room is in their wing.  There are always people and kids and parents in our hallway.  There is not a secure entrance.  Anyone can walk in at anytime and no one would be suspicious because people of all sorts are always in those offices.  In another wing is a preschool ran by UT.  They are secured with a pass code you have to have to get in.
   I was in my class when I saw what happened in Connecticut yesterday. And suddenly I no longer felt safe.  We have kids who are adopted in our building.  We have kids who have been removed from homes and are in foster care.  I don't even know the crazy circumstances the the EI folks deal with.  Our doors do not lock from the inside.  There are no secure entrances.  What is stopping an angry parent coming to try and are their removed child?
     I hate that I have to think like this but it is reality.  I have to think of this now.  On Monday the TPS folks will have to discuss our lock down procedure.  And the building as a whole needs to as well.  My students are not easy to move.  Three of them are plugged into walls.  As much as it sucks, I have to devise a plan with my aides that we can use if something crazy happens.
      This shouldn't be.  Schools should be safe. I should not have to worry about these things.  But I do.  And that sucks.  But it is reality.  And there are sick and evil people.  No area or building is safe as was shown yesterday.  That is the last community that would expect that to happen.  But this is reality and as a teacher, I must also be a security specialist.
     We must make schools safe again!

True Care

I often struggle with being vulnerable, hiding my fears and uncertainties from my public life and keeping them in private.  But I am learning through my students and through the book "Adam" by Henri Nouwen, that until we are willing to let others see those feelings and truly care for us, we are missing out on the life Jesus intended for us to live.
 My students require the attention of others.  They rely in others to meet their basic needs whether that be getting their diapers changed, being fed, moving from their wheel chairs to another position, taking or putting on their coats, and for some of them they may even need others to "breathe" for them.  They rely on the CARE of others for survival.
      They can hide very little from those who care for them.  They lay it all out there.  When they are happy, I know.  When they are sad or grumpy or sick, I know.  They do not hide these things. They are not afraid to show who they truly are. For they know nothing else.  They pretty much live with the attitude "Here I am, Love me".
     But they do not simply require care, they dish it out.  In their own ways, I know that they deeply care about and love others.  Whether it is a smile, a life, a high five, or a hug, they show their care.  The simplicity of their lives and thoughts are something to be envied.
     In the book "Adam", Nouwen says "True care is mutual care".  Simply, if we truly are to care about others, we have to let them care about us.  If we expect them to lay out their burdens, struggles, and lives, we must be willing to do that also.  Care is not a one way street, we need to give it and receive it.
    I often think about the time when some friends carried their friend on a mat to Jesus.  They went up on a roof, dug a hole and lowered him in front of Jesus so that their friend could be healed.  They loved and cared about their friend.  But I am positive that that care and love was shared by their paralyzed friend.
    For me it is a lot easier to go and do crazy things for my friends than it is to let them do those things for me.  For my students I can change diapers, put coats on, wipe a nose, suction out their trachs and their mouths, but I am uncomfortable to accept care in return.  But I must let them.  For care is mutual and we must let ourselves be cared for.  To give is simply not enough, we need to accept care as well.
    So friends, step out of your comfort zone, and truly participate in care.  Give and receive.  Find someone who has outward struggles or disabilities, and see how they both accept and give care.

Be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Love y'all
Opher